Advice on dating as a single mom
Just suck it up and get it over with.” I get it, maybe that’s not the right frame of mind to have when going into a date, “just get it over with,” but just being honest here.I parked and found my way to the coffee shop all the while thinking “this better be darn good coffee or the most amazing man ever for all this effort.” I met my date and he was polite and bought my coffee and conversation ensued, if you want to call it conversation at all, he really just talked about himself the whole time.Dating can be so stressful and overwhelming, but if you look at it with the right perspective, it’s also a huge opportunity to learn about yourself and others.I’ve learned what to look for and what I’m OK with and what I’m definitely NOT OK with.I got a lot of interest and requests to go out when that one tiny detail of me being a full-time-no-breaks-no-weekends-away or shared custody-no circle of friends or grandparents how to even attempt to date a single mom.(I get it, NOT ALL GUYS are clueless and if you met yours online, awesome! ) I figured maybe I’d put out a kind of PSA if you will, for those of you who are actually considering dating a single mom: 1.) Realize the cost of childcare: It may just be a coffee or drink out of your pocket, but for the single mom you’re asking out it’s SO much more.This answer is not for the single mom's it is to help single men think about their dating situation.
When I explained that I have three kids (again) and I just don’t go to strangers’ homes (even though he bought me a coffee, he was still technically a stranger, remember that ladies! He looked at me like I was talking in another language. I’ve heard stories from friends in the childcare business of the moms who won’t pick their kids up until 3 a.m. The ones who will bring home a first date with kids in the house (I’m not judging…OK I kinda am, sorry). 4.) Be straightforward about your intentions: Women generally don’t have time for games, but pull some round-about shenanigans with a single mom, well that’s just a whole other low.” After that statement, the whole date was just sort of a wash. If you can’t stand up to the fact that she’s surveying your every move for any signs of “dad-like” characteristics, or you wouldn’t even consider going to help her if she texts you last minute to cancel a date because her kids are all taking turns throwing up on her, then don’t ask her out. 5.) Honor the “baggage:” Look, as humans, we’ve all got baggage, but single parents seem to have a couple extra bags.Kids hard when you’re a single parent, but they’re also my everything. Understand there was someone before, either an ex- and parent of her child, or in a widow’s case, a husband and father will never be forgotten and who will always be loved, always.If you’re a man with children already then I have nothing to say. To the guys without children here is why I think it's a bad idea: Seriously, if your a single guy without kids make your life easier and don’t risk your longterm happiness. Edit: it has been a while since I wrote this answer.The single mom may be a wonderful lady but she may be also be the reason the relationship did not work. And even if she is not the reason why the relationship failed you still have to deal with a child that is not yours and a biological father that hates you. I received a lot of scorn from the “fairer" sex for this answer.