From courting to dating

If we act like we’re married before we’ve made that commitment, we’re defrauding (and sinning).I don’t know whether you’ve noticed this, but people involved in a dating relationship tend to get to know each other better over the course of that relationship.In fact, they are usually really enthusiastic about doing so.We might even say that getting to know one another better and more deeply is (up to a certain limited point, of course) the very of a dating relationship.I discuss this principle more fully in “Principles for Drawing Boundaries” and “What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?” As a quick refresher, we can “defraud” our brother or sister in a dating context by showing or encouraging a level of intimacy — either emotionally or physically — that the Bible seems to reserve for marriage and marriage only.

It’s still really easy to “act married” emotionally, even in a long-distance relationship.If our goal is to move positively toward God-glorifying lives (rather than simply to “walk the line” by attempting to satisfy our fleshly desires as much as possible without sinning), wisdom and godliness would seem to counsel keeping relationships shorter.Certainly, as God’s people, we don’t want to live in fear and have our lives be primarily defined by avoiding temptation rather than positively seeking after Christ. Still, where particular known areas of temptation exist, it’s not living in fear to be deliberate about taking the wiser course.PART 6: Growing in Intimacy » In matters of dating or courtship, I generally recommend that people either get married or break up within a year or so of beginning a dating relationship.I also believe that this recommendation applies with equal force to single men and women in college.

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On most college campuses, that likely puts the two of you in the same relatively small social circle.

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