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My friend Divya works the overnight shift at the BBC in London and stays out clubbing on her nights off.Imagine my surprise when I discovered she was on, courtesy of her mother, who took the liberty of listing Divya’s hobbies as shopping and movies.By now I certainly think that would be enough time for me.Other Indian women I know seem to be coming to the same conclusion.(I was under the impression her hobbies were more along the lines of trance music and international politics.) Though she’s long favored pubgoing blokes, Divya, like me, doesn’t discount the possibility that the urologist from Trivandrum or the IT guy could just be the onean idea patently unthinkable to us in our twenties.It’s become second nature for women like us to straddle the two dating worlds.Neal, a 35-year-old Indian lawyer I know, thinks it’s absurd how a couple in America can date for years and still not know if they want to get married.I think I would only need a couple of months to get to know a girl before I married her, he says.

This way, the aunties can still swing by the kids’ table as I’m sucking on a Pepsi and chucking a young cousin on the chin, and ask me, When are you getting married?

Don’t you think we would make sure his story checked out before marrying you off? I liked the fact that he was Indian-American but had returned to India to work.

We had great conversations on the phoneamong other things, he had interesting views on how people our age were becoming more sexually liberated in Indian citiesand I began envisioning myself kept in the finest silk saris.

(Isn’t it when they dislike us for our skin color that we’re supposed to get upset?

) But when I met him for dinner, he seemed a decade older than he was, which made me feel like I was a decade younger. Once, he was particularly taken with a suitor who claimed to be a brain surgeon at Johns Hopkins and friends with a famous Bollywood actress, Madhuri Dixit.

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